Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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