new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
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