this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
