I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My balls are so social today.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
