my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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