I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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