theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
