in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
