I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
