Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
