what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
