Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
