My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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