The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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