So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
