we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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