My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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