I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
