So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Bring me that man meat
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
