Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
