You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
