I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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