I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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