i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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