i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
