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• (248): View more from Michigan

  What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I think you know the answer.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How can I marinade myself in Vodka?

  Fav 12 4150 1005

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• (310): View more from California

  I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.

  Fav 17 4398 2533

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro

  Fav 13 3971 1422

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.

  Fav 7 2909 915

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big

  Fav 15 3100 1098

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.

  Fav 4 871 1655

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?

  Fav 13 1512 806

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.

  Fav 8 1001 1619

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love

  Fav 3 670 951

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.

  Fav 6 995 619

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• (714): View more from California

  I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.

  Fav 2 524 397

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...

  Fav 1 214 125

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods

  Fav 1 46 22

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.

  Fav 3 62 9

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.

  Fav 0 30 34

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