I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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