You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
