not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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