my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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