I'm going to jail i love you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Shame - the story of my life.
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