So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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