billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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