I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
