Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
