i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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