sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
