i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
