your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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