wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
