this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
