WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
