Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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