I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
