bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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