Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Are we still banned from the library?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
