walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
