Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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