so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
