i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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