ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
