I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
