he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
