I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize