I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
is that a dick in a sweater?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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