I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
