i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
